EduClaytion

Since when did Saturday mornings become a good time to do laundry or pay bills?  I remember the simpler days when weekends were for sleeping in but you didn’t even think about hiding under the covers because those magical animations and talking animals offered up only one performance a week.  Saturday mornings were made for cartoon watching.

Nowadays (if I may sound like a grumpy old man) the toons are ubiquitous.  With so many options, kids are doing more channeling than Miss Cleo at a Psychic Friend’s Halloween party.  If that isn’t enough, my boys even learned how to DVR the best shows for when they have to be going.

Well, they’ll never understand the power of exclusivity.  We could all argue over when the golden age of cartoons took place, but everyone will just pick the year they turned 9.  So I’m throwing it all out there.  Whether you rocked with the Fraggles or bopped with Betty Boop, I want your picks for best all-time toons.  This survey may predate the 1990s (Cartoon Network launched in 1992), but we’ll still bring political correctness into the mix and not discriminate against puppets and muppets and Puff n Stuff.  After all, they’re not people too. 

So in the spirit of VH1, here’s some of my favs (in no particular order).  I’m leaving a lot out.  Let’s have yours too.

He-Man–”By the power of Grayskull” must have been the backyard battlecry for millions of kids.  I only went nuts for one set of action figures, those Masters Of The Universe.  He-man might have been the most unoriginal name ever but as long as he and Battle Cat took care of Skeletor and goons all was well with the world.

Scooby-Doo–Scooby is a legend, maybe the Babe Ruth of cartoons for lasting impact.  Hard to believe that at one time a couple of guys thought this cast up.  They never imagined their creation would still be netting tens of millions of dollars decades later.  We always want to buy our childhood back, but generations continue to gobble up tickets and merchandise to this massive franchise.  Even the YouTube link is to a channel devoted entirely to Scooby-Doobie-Doo.  And I do mean Doobie.

Smurfs–Gargamel pursued his little, blue enemies with all the efficiency of modern politicians.  That is to say a whole lot of evil bluster without actually achieving anything.  Smurfette sure drove them wild.  By the way, which Smurf are you?  They tell me I’m Papa Smurf.  Sweet.

Hulk Hogan Rock n Wrestling–The good guys versus bad ones were never as easily identifiable as in wrestling. Nowadays (there I go again) all lines are blurred. One of the great appeals of these old shows is the simple stark contrast between right and wrong. We learned the basics and were allowed to figure out the gray area after we grew up.

Shirt Tales–Probably the least memorable show that I love the most.  Shirt Tales is often forgotten, but once you remember it you get all warm and fuzzy.  Everyone loved Bogey.

Woody Woodpecker–This guy might have been my single favorite character.  The adult version of me has been tormented by these stupid birds.  I have a hole in the side of my house to prove it.  By the way, harming these big beaked pests is illegal, so you just have to put up with them.  Woody was cool though.  He always got the best of people you didn’t much care for.  Click on this link for a rare look at a hungover cartoon as Woody had a rough night.

Shera–A lot of people say that He-man’s twin sister was lame.  The opening was certainly corny.  Dig those disco beats.  The makers just wanted a superhero for girls, and who better than the princess of power?  I haven’t suffered any gender confliction.  All I remember was that every episode you had to find Loo-Kee, that little multi-colored critter who hid in the forest every episode.

Looney Toons–Speaking of political correctness, some of these old episodes have been wiped from history.  In some cases, the revisions were warranted, but why did we have to lose Speedy Gonzalez?  Old Speedy disappeared faster than Wile E. Coyote five seconds after stepping from the edge of a cliff.  Add Taz, Tweety, Foghorn Leghorn, Pepe LePew, Bugs, Elmer Fudd, Sylvester and more for the all-time greats. 

Tom n Jerry–Of all the classics, I watch more of these two today than anything else.  Their brilliant routines continue to crack up the kids.

Harlem Globetrotters–Is this my most obscure reference?  Perhaps, but these cats were the best.  Meadowlark, Curly, and company remained one of my favorites for years.  They always got the best of people, always in good fun, and always did the right thing in the end.  The animation b-ball tricks weren’t too far off from the real life show.

Inspector Gadget–The Cold War stakes may have been a mystery to kids, but Inspector Gadget came from the cloak and dagger legacy of James Bond and Maxwell Smart.  The American agent was completely incompetent against Dr. Claw, but Penny and Brain always seemed to bail him out.  Children everywhere knew they could defeat communism.  We’ll give this one the Reagan Award.

The final one for now that just misses my 1992 cutoff would be Animaniacs.  Simply brilliant.  Steven Spielberg gave his name to this transforming trio, a set of wisecrackers that began the movement of children’s programming clever enough to genuinely entertain a variety of adults.  Writers figured out how to amuse kids while dropping enough pop culture references and family-friendly adult themes into the mix.  The animation went to a new level as well. 

When you watch the current slate of Cartoon Network shows from Spongebob Squarepants on, remember the Animaniacs which also featured Pinky and the Brain, a mouse with aspirations to take over the world ala Stewie Griffin from the Family Guy.

What did I miss?  leave your thoughts.