Summit Madness
We are off and rolling here in Pittsburgh, The City of Champions and unlikely host to the international conference that is your G-20 Summit. Well, get in the fast lane grandma cause the bingo game is ready to roll, and the real story of this event has begun to unfold. We’re talking about the protestors, th
ose crazy cats so popular among the young and rebellious, so annoying to everyone else with jobs.
Some environmentalists got things started today. A few members of Green Peace decided to unfurl a massive sign over the side of the West End Bridge. Four of the Greenies then repelled to the base of the sign to hang out for a while, grab a lot of early attention, and generally warn us all that nature is doomed and we’re the doomers. Hey don’t blame me GP, I sometimes prefer paper over plastic after driving my SUV to a food conglomerate retail center to buy chemically enhanced mea
t.
Something tells me we’re just getting started. Many world leaders are arriving as I type, streets are being shut down, and college campuses and office buildings are being taken over as staging grounds for the heaviest presence of law enforcement this town has ever seen. And wait until Joan Jett and the Black Hearts play an outdoor concert tonight.
Rumor has it that other cities turned down the “opportunity” to host this event. I can’t imagine Obama offered the Summit to anyone before giving Chicago a chance. I guess other major metropolis types didn’t want the headache. This town just doesn’t know any better. Now the eyes of the world are upon us. Pittsburghers are a nutty bunch, but they may have met their match.
We have a beautiful city here, the only one ever named most livable twice. International reporters already in town have commended their hosts and the beauty of the city. That last one may be
a little unexpected, but you’d be hard-pressed to find a better entrance into a major American city than the panorama unfolding as you emerge from the Fort Pitt Tunnels.
Speaking of those tunnels, police foiled another protestor plot down there a little while ago. From the looks of things, these folks were gunnin’ to make something happen on that mountain. Maybe they wanted to emerge ala Moses, a righteous leader descending into a land of sinners, a spectacle of lust and greed that is corporate capitalism and modern politics.
Villains of this ilk hide behind their sparkling facades adorned with logos of the damned, names like GAP and APPLE. Don’t believe me? Hop on over to Shadyside, a ritzy little town as “enlightened” as it gets, a cozy spot where you can sip $6 lattes while sporting the latest in eyewear frames. Along the posh streets of Shadyside, business owners are directing contractors in last minute preparations for the aggression that is to come. Apparently there is a list, a target sheet if you will, of those major conglomerates so happy to destroy the earth while defecating on the poor. These beasts need tamed, and the protestors are here
, in part, to slay the dragon. The Old Navy better get all hands on deck cause the hurricane’s a comin’, a tsunami of love to bring peace, understanding, and equality to all mankind. Just as soon as enough laws are broken to get on TV but not really go to jail for long.
The irony here is that many Shadyside residents ostensibly sympathize with the plight of the protestors. Of course that won’t stop their delicious little hamlet from burning, a regional martyr for the cause.
Am I cynical? Well, maybe a bit, but I’m no hypocrite. So tomorrow, in the spirit of journalistic integrity and understanding, yours truly will drive into the Burgh. I will park as close as I can get to the prestigious collection of world leaders. I will walk until the authorities say nay. And I will find some protestors, these hooligans of holiness, to show me their ways and preach me their message.
Check back here in the next couple days for my embedded report. Perhaps they will turn me, and I will go rogue. If I don’t make it back, I’m probably dead. Or just taking in the Pirates game. I hear the Reds are in town tomorrow. The baseball Reds, not communists. Well, then again…
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Life. Culture. Education.
Life as Pop Culture Professor Clay Morgan
In The Matrix, Morpheus tells Neo he can take the blue pill and go on believing whatever he wants to believe. Or he can take the red pill to stay in Wonderland and find out how deep the rabbit hole goes.
This is a red pill type site that provides information in an entertaining way. It’s about clear thinking and good writing. It’s about finding meaning amidst the absurd. It’s about humor and truth.
I’m a writer / speaker who teaches history and political courses at a couple of local colleges. Where is local, you say? Well, that would be Wonderland of course.
On topics ranging from pop culture to the meaning of life, my brain’s always poppin’. Take the red pill and unplug.
Just watch out for those ‘pooh’ bombs and don’t get persuaded to join a ‘sleeping dragon’. If you don’t know what those are, ask the ‘professional’ protesters. Good luck.
Oh, just so you know, my batan takes no prisoners!! J/k Enjoy your first amendment rights, you nut.
I have returned from my expedition and it was interesting. More on that tomorrow. I’d love to hear the perspective of someone called in to “keep the peace.” Feel like guest blogging?
Absolutely! I’ll prepare my report Asap. It won’t be like what you’d expect.
Thanks. I have no expectations other than being interested.
Most protested progress, but most protested for the sake of protesting. SAD!