EduClaytion

You’ve probably heard by now that Americans of today are the fattest civilization in world history.  Those extra pounds come at a cost to our health and pocketbooks.  We need to help set our kids on the right track to avoid some scary trends in their future.

The NFL Network got me curious about all this with an ongoing advertising blitz to keep gym in school.  Kurt Warner smiles and tells us our kids aren’t getting enough exercise.  Okay, I think.  Then I see Hines Ward, Super Bowl hero and newly elected “Dirtiest Player In Football” by his peers, along with other football stars running in thirty-second slow motion chunks with a bunch of kids.  I wonder, have schools really been eliminating gym class and physical exercise?  I process.  This is the American public school system.  Congress is involved.  I conclude that yep, if there’s a wrong option to be pursued, our politicians will run that sick rabbit down like greyhounds on a fast track.

I hear you already, oh defender of government.  Here he goes again, connecting fat kids with government while bashing politicians.  You’re right.  I’ll spare you my tales as a No Child Left Behind contractor and the pros and cons of that legislation.  I’ll also try to tread lightly over our government in school is destroying our future pamphleteering.  It’s really quite simple though, and it goes like this.

Call it EduClaytion’s Razor.  Maybe you’ve heard of Ockham’s Razor, that medieval scholar who decided that if you have two or more alternatives when trying to figure out a solution, just pick the simplest explanation.  Well, with EduClaytion’s Razor, whenever you have to figure out what went wrong in a particular situation, and the government is at all a character in the story, then go with the politicians involved (they’ll be the ones telling you they can make things better) and figure out what they did this time. 

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The NFL Network’s site for the Keep Gym program clearly lists some facts about the importance of this drive to keep kids active.  You don’t have to be a child psychologist to know that video games (and I’m a big fan) and computers have kept a lot of young people (old peeps for that matter) indoors.  But consider these lowlights.

1.  Childhood obesity has tripled since 1980
2. “Health care providers are finding more and more children with type 2 diabetes and other conditions stemming from obesity and inactivity that were previously diagnosed almost entirely in adults aged 40 years or older.”
3. “Current annual medical costs related to obesity total $147 billion nationally…”
4. Unfit and overweight kids perform worse academically than students who score well on fitness tests.

There’s a ton of meat (forgive the pun) in those four points, but consider that while as calories increase:

“The percentage of students who attend daily PE dropped from 42% in 1991 to 28% in 2003. Fewer than 8% of U.S. middle schools provide daily physical education for the entire school year.”

If anybody needs to run it’s junior high students.  In America, health problems equal money problems, but moral and monetary issues are also connected.  Develop these thoughts on your own, but obesity is only one side of this story.  We aren’t even mentioning consequences of hormonal frustration and pent-up aggression.  Maybe you’ve heard about increasing violence in our schools.  It’s almost like our political and educational leaders want kids to be as screwed up as possible heading into life. 

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Anyone who has had kids at home during the summer should know how disastrous it is to let them sit in front of screens all day, unsure if it’s even rained lately.  God created the outdoors; man created indoors.  I think we should at least spend a little time outside.

Despite medical technologies that might otherwise send the average lifespan towards 140-150 years old, our diets are setting up a culture where parents may be forced to bury more children than ever due to diseases brought on by obesity.

Raising so many overweight kids is even more cruel in a society that’s so dedicated to superficiality and appearance.  Sure, there’s a chance that all successful people will start to look like Jack Black (who rocks) and Jonah Hill.  Perhaps we’ll even elect another W.H. Taft to the presidency, a good (if large) man unfairly remembered for getting stuck in the White House bathtub.  The reality is that successful people are active, and active people are more likely to be fit.

Maybe you believe Republicans are to blame for No Child Left Behind standards that forced educators to spend more time in the classroom.  Maybe you blame Democrats for crying about low self-esteem in children who experience failure in athletic competitions.  Let’s start with parents who aren’t pro-active enough themselves, who don’t want the uncomfortable role of telling kids to turn off the TV and go outside.

     TYPICAL, WHINY KID: “But what am I supposed to do?  Everything’s boring.”

     MEAN GOOD PARENT:  ”I don’t care if you walk in circles to hear sticks break.” 

     TWK: “This is the worst day of my life! Ever!”

     TWK’s FRIEND PARENT: “If you’re bored you could also grab a toothbrush and scrub bathroom scum.”

     TWK: Blink. Blink.

     PARENT OF THE YEAR: “Let’s go do something together.  I love you.” 

     POY licks thumb and rubs dried jelly off TWK’s face.

Doesn’t gym class sound so much better?  Do we really fear that kids might turn out as terrible adults because they couldn’t win at an athletic competition?  Where else do they learn struggle, perseverance, teamwork, and more?  If we don’t help them stay active, they may turn out overweight, unable to enjoy life because of poor health or expensive medical bills or worse.

[UPDATE: The USA Today splashed this draw-dropper across page 1 today: Obesity Linked To Specific Cancers.  The numbers listed at the link are intense.]