Fall Of The Crow
Brandon Lee was accidentally killed in North Carolina while filming The Crow on this date in 1993. He was only 28 years old and by all accounts would have been on his way to a whole lot of fame and stardom. Many strange occurences conspired to end his life. You might say it was just his time. To make the story even stranger, his father Bruce Lee had also died under bizarre conditions.
The point is that you never know. Be thankful for each day you have. This could be the last thing you ever read. Are you ready?
A Year Of EduClaytion: The Extravaganza!
This months marks the 1st anniversary of EduClaytion. The world hasn’t disappointed on the interesting happenings front and neither have you. Together we’ve laid out some strange angles on triumphs, tragedies, and everything in between. We’ve watched America become an Obama nation while surviving threats from Scientologists and swine. You’ll find no shortage of pop culture references here either, be it Kevin Bacon, Braveheart, or the Breakfast Club. Shoot, even the animal kingdom’s been involved from victorious Penguins to a gay, Polish elephant.
I’ve enjoyed watching certain topics take off while others crashed and burned. After one year, the results are in on what you, the readers, have pointed and clicked on more than anything else. Even more amazing are some of the actual things people have been searching for in order to arrive here. Finally, the judges are ready to announce the article of the year near the end of this gala. So, let’s see what we can learn about our net-surfing selves by reshredding the cyberwaves of thi
s past year.
MOST READ TOPIC / ARTICLE
One particular article beat out all the rest and it wasn’t even close. We continue to find terrorism too relevant to resist. With three times more views than any other topic, the most read piece by a mile was What Does A Terrorist Look Like? which appeared last May after I took a plane trip to Florida. This one didn’t generate the most on-site discussion, but the comments section did get a little frightening a bit later.
MOST POPULAR ARTICLE: RUNNERS UP
From first to second we go from serious to ridiculous. The next two most clicked selections were pop culture conglomerations that attempted to link a few different well-known phenoms. The first was Braveheart, Weird Science, and Kevin Bacon–not exactly NBC Nightly News stuff but fun and apparently appealing. Close on the heels of Robert the Bruce and Co. was Chuck, Fletch, and Quantum Leap, a nifty write-up that combined three of my faves. I guess folks just like Chevy Chase and really want a Quantum Leap movie. Fletch too.
HONORABLE MENTION
Another strange split 
here near the top. Rounding out the top five are Smoke ‘Em If You Got ’Em and Monster Cereals and The Aliens Of “V” or Childhood In The 80s, which also has to be the longest title since the 18th century. Some days you want hard-hitting, investigative journalism; some days you want to talk about The Greatest Cartoons of All-Time.
MOST POLARIZING ARTICLE
Without a doubt, the most outspoken comments followed Worry About Your Own Sin. The thread at the end of the article was only the beginning. That one was difficult to write as far as hitting an appropriate balance. No matter where I’m speaking, the topic always gets people going.
ARTICLE THAT RECEIVED A SURPRISINGLY CALM RESPONSE
That would have to be Hating On Hate Crimes. Sometimes you know what you are saying is not offensive, but that it won’t matter. That’s when you close your eyes and hit the submit button.
MOST POPULAR SEARCH TOPICS THAT LED READERS HERE
No surprise that “terrorist” or some form of it led the most people here. You may be surprised at the second most popular fetcher though. Miss California Carrie Prejean got a ton of hits. Something tells me you all were more interested in finding dirty pictures than hearing her views on Jesus.
STRANGEST SEARCH TERMS TO LEAD READERS HERE
You don’t want to know. To be fair though, there was at least one article here about dead bodies and sex. Read more »
The Brave Heart of Robert The Bruce
The human heart can soar and be lifted or fall shattered and broken. It can be open or cold, trusting or wicked. Thanks to the film Braveheart we also know that a heart can be brave, but did you know that the historical reference never referred to Mel Gibson’s heroic character William Wallace? I’m no Milton, but if it’s poetry you seek, consider the tale of a heart taken from the chest of a fallen
king only to journey for seven centuries before finally reaching its intended resting place. Legends are most amazing when they’re true, as this story is.
You see, today’s a big anniversary in my family; although none of us have ever really thought about it much. March 27th was a great day for my 27th great-grandfather. Yes, that’s a long time ago, over 700 years to be exact. On this date in 1306, Robert the Bruce was crowned King Robert I of Scotland.
This legendary figure came to international attention after the movie Braveheart was released in 1995. For as much as I love that film, the story is more fiction than fact. That’s good news for those upset at the thought of Robert the Bruce’s dastardly betrayal of William Wallace at Falkirk. In real history, no such treason ever took place. The Bruce was, however, a brutal warrior.
Like William Wallace, Robert’s rival was the powerful King Edward I “Longshanks” of England. Robert became king only a few months after Wallace was executed by Longshanks in 1305 (the movie actually watered that scene down. Seriously…). For the new Scottish king, the fight for Scottish independence would last years longer. Longshanks arrested and imprisoned Robert’s wife, daughter, and sisters. His brother Nigel was captured and executed in the same manner as Wallace.
Longshanks died in 1
307 and left the kingdom to his son, Edward II. Unfortunately for Scottish rebels, the son wasn’t quite as incompetent as the movie makes out. The fight for freedom lasted until 1314 when the Scottish warriors “fought like warrior poets and won their freedom” at Bannockburn.
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Robert I ruled until his death in 1329. His dying wish was requested of longtime companion Sir James Douglas–a supporter of William Wallace and the knight in charge of the army’s left-wing at Bannockburn. King Robert asked that his heart be removed and carried “against the enemies of the name of Christ.” The heart was placed in a casket and carried by Douglas, a legend in his own right, to Granada in Spain.
While carrying the chest, Douglas was ambushed as he tried to aid a fellow warrior. About to be slain, the courageous knight held out the casket and said, “Onward brave heart, Douglas shall follow thee or die.” He didn’t make it. Read more »
Sorry Florida: No Sex With Porcupines
Florida is easy to pick on. I think a lot of us outside the Sun Belt like to cast aspersions on states with nice weather just like a lot of folks like to ridicule supermodels and athletes to feel better about themselves. While having some fun with Florida’s python hunting season, I discovered a long list of cr
azy laws still on the books in the Sunshine State.
Some of these ordinances are more strange than disturbing. Did you know that in Miami it’s illegal for a man to wear any type of strapless gown? How about the Tampa Bay restriction that forbids eating cottage cheese after 6 p.m. on Sundays? Hard to believe isn’t it? Women can also get fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer. The salon owner gets in trouble too.
Perhaps the most inexplicable law of all is the prohibition of having sexual relations with a porcu
pine. I would love to know the true life events that led a lawmaker to feel the necessity to ban human-porcupine intercourse. Now, I am no big fan of far-reaching government controls, but I do happen to think that avoiding this type of behavior is a good idea.
Sometimes these rules are just misinterpreted. For example, some college spring breakers may totally misunderstand a Sarasota mandate that you may not catch crabs. This one’s about shellfish gang.
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To be fair, Florida isn’t the only state with super bizarro laws. You can find ridiculous rules just about everywhere.
Alabama has a decent collection of crazy rules. I know, shocking right? Although incestuous marriages are permitted, bear wrestling matches and spitting in front of the opposit
e sex are not. That basically means you can marry your sister, just don’t spit in front of her. Also, when in Alabama be sure to never wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church, and under no circumstances are you to have an ice cream cone in your back pocket. Laugh if you want, but I think that’s good advice for ice cream lovers everywhere.
You can find some great laws on the other side of the country as well. In California, for example, it’s illegal to shoot at animals from a moving vehicle unless the target is a whale. I would love to hear the discussion that led to that one. Like we have such a whale-overcrowding issue. Did the men sitting around the table agree to the first part until they thought, “You know, that’s a good law but what if one of us finally gets a clean shot at a whale while driving down the coast?”
You can find more of these from all across our fruited plain. Indiana has its fair share, but I do think they are really handcuffing the service industry by outlawing barbers from threatening to cut off kid’s ears. How else are you supposed to get them to sit still?
You can go on like this for a while. I don’t even want to mess with Texas. Some of you shouldn’t be judgmental here though. I’m looking at you Illinois. Read more »
Python Hunting Season Is Here…Finally
Get ready Florida residents cause it’s that time of the year. That’s right: Python hunting season is here. Florida is a strange place with a long tradition of stranger traditions and rules. Like Forrest Gump once said, “It’s this whole other country.”
For just $26 South Florida residents can obtain a special python hunting permit. That may seem a little pricey when you consider that South Florida residents can already walk into the Everglades and suffer a horrible death enjoy nature for free.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re saying, “Sure fella that’s great for professional snake hunters, but what about those of us inexperienced with man-guzzling pythons?” Good question. Florida officials are one step ahead of you. They are offering workshops on how to identify, stalk, and capture deadly reptiles.
> |
| Some pythons will reconsider their next joy slither |
Seriously.
First off, I can probably help out with that whole “how do I identify a reptile that may end my life?” dilemma. Here are some tips. If it ain’t furry, moves quick, and hisses at you while striking, you’ve probably located something to watch out for. If a creature looks nothing like a puppy yet curls up in your garage, be leary. If you are in the Everglades, don’t trust anything that moves.
As for the whole capture thing, you may want to consult those professionals or just watch Bear Grylls capture and kill a gator in the swamp.
Now for you extra-zealous reptile hunters out there, you might be wondering why so many limitations. “Only Burmese Python season?” you say. Fret not my psychopathic friend. Also in season are fellow pythons of the Indian and African rock persuasion. I imagine the ACLU already has a lawsuit in the works for some type of reptilian discrimination. But wait there’s more! You can also take green anacondas and Nile monitor lizards. Seriously.
Bay 9 News in Florida has a constant stream of python related stories. I know this because my sister is a total Bay 9 junkie. Consider some of these stories. Read more »
Students On Strike
College students across 32 states skipped classes yesterday. Well, that actually happens everyday, but yesterday they had a purpose beyond sleeping in. These motivated matriculators are protesting budget cuts, employee layoffs, and increasing costs which damage the quality of education. I think. It’s also possible they just wanted get out of class. Also their teachers might just be offering them extra credit for making so much noise to administrators.
Students from all walks of life participated in the chaotic movement. See them as you want to see them but student protestors include athletes…and basket cases…and princesses…and maybe even a criminal. Whoever they are, they better not mess with the bull or they’ll get the horns.
One witness reportedly heard the following exchange yesterday.
UPTIGHT TOP BRASS AUTHORITY FIGURE: “What was that ruckus?”
FAST-THINKING ANGST-RIDDEN STUDENT: “Uh, what ruckus?”
UTBAF: “I was just in my office and I heard a ruckus.”
F-TA-RS: “Could you describe the ruckus sir?”
And so it went until the hard-nosed administrator threatened to “crack skulls” if the demonstrators persisted.
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The walkouts ranged from coast to coast. Students from CUNY to the University of Washington participated in the nationwide “March 4th National Day of Action for Public Education.” Their goal was to shut down campuses for half a day in protest of rising tuition costs and supporting educational workers. Another problem seems to be that tuition is going up as scholarship opportunities go down.
In a USA Today article on the student rally, Maryland junior Jon Berger was quoted as saying:
“We’re seeing more classes taught by adjuncts and grad students who aren’t getting paid (fairly). We’re seeing larger class sizes, and some kids in certain majors … can’t get all the courses they need in four years.” Read more »
Life. Culture. Education.
Life as Pop Culture Professor Clay Morgan
In The Matrix, Morpheus tells Neo he can take the blue pill and go on believing whatever he wants to believe. Or he can take the red pill to stay in Wonderland and find out how deep the rabbit hole goes.
This is a red pill type site that provides information in an entertaining way. It’s about clear thinking and good writing. It’s about finding meaning amidst the absurd. It’s about humor and truth.
I’m a writer / speaker who teaches history and political courses at a couple of local colleges. Where is local, you say? Well, that would be Wonderland of course.
On topics ranging from pop culture to the meaning of life, my brain’s always poppin’. Take the red pill and unplug.
