Archive - November 3, 2010

President Obama & The Karate Kid

On Wikipedia Wednesday I take the Wiki’s word for it about what happened on this date in history (give or take a day) and vamp up the rest to connect the events. It’s okay. I’m a trained historian. People expect us to make stuff up.

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Let me take you back to November 4, 2008.  Barack Obama routed a weak challenger in a historic presidential victory.  Students rocked, Democrats rolled, and Juan Williams cried.  (He cried because a black man won not because he was afraid of muslims).  That’s as good a place to start as any on this Wikipedia Wednesday, one day after a historic election beatdown here in the states.  I imagine Republicans are today feeling like Democrats have after the past couple elections.

As a matter of fact, I bet President Obama is feeling a bit like Jimmy Carter did in 1979.  Carter had been elected in 1976 in a big way.  Students partied that night too, and pundits talked of a historic change.  By ’79, Carter became practically unelectable thanks to disastrous policies but also after 55 Americans were taken hostage in Iran on November 4.

I’m not sure how the future will work out for Obama but Carter lost to Ronald Reagan who, according to the Wiki, spent November 2, 1983 signing Martin Luther King Jr. Day into law.

Seventy years earlier, in 1913, the government smacked us with one of its nastiest moves ever when the income tax, that blasted creation, was introduced on this date.  To learn more about how I feel about taxes you should read my comparison between the IRS and tooth decay.

Speaking of painful experiences, World War I ground to a halt in 1918 as Germany’s pals in Austria-Hungary spent these couple days surrendering to everybody.  But happier days were on their way after November 4, 1918 because that’s when Art Carney was born. 

If you don’t know who that is just find yourself some reruns of The Honeymooners and one Mr. Ed Norton.  Carney was genius and you see his legacy everytime you watch the Flintstones Barney Rubble or Jim Carrey do a crazy leg dance or every whacky neighbor in sitcom history like Kramer from Seinfeld.

Carney kept Americans laughing during those scary days of the Cold War when the spooky Russians frightened everybody by launching their satellite Sputnik 2 into space in 1957.  On board was the first animal to enter orbit, a dog named Laika.  Yes, the first creature in space from planet Earth was a communist.  I’m sure Laika loved having all his hero doggy bones distributed to all his commie canine comrades.  America got the last laugh, however, when they successfully put Muppets in space some years later. 

It’s a little known fact (because it’s false) that Laika is actually the Russian word for “sweep the leg.”  What a coincidence because Ralph Macchio was born on November 4, 1961.

Yes, the Karate Kid will turn 50 and join AARP next year where he can wax on and wax nostalgic about how he was apparently already old when he played a high school kid.  He once took on social awkwardness and an evil sensai; now he must face arthritis and overactive bladder.  I’m sure Miyagi would’ve been able to help with that.

By the way, know who else turns 50 next year?  That’s right, President Obama.  His honeymoon with the American people seems to have come to an end and instead of a fun wacky neighbor he’s stuck with Joe Biden.  And while he doesn’t have to worry about communist animals in space, he should reconsider jacking up those taxes that have been so unpopular since 1913 or not even Mr. Miyagi will be able to save him in 2012.

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Make your own witty connections below. Follow me on Twitter @eduClaytion.