A Tall LSD Tale

On Wikipedia Wednesday I take the Wiki’s word for it about what happened on this date in history (give or take a day) and vamp up the rest to connect the events.  It’s okay.  I’m a trained historian.

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The first Ukrainian girl I ever had a crush on was figure skater Oksana Baiul.  I’m sure she would’ve enjoyed yesterday’s birthday a little more knowing that.  Im not sure how old I was at the time, maybe the same age as William Tell’s son when his dad shot an apple off of his noggin with a bow and arrow, a feat accomplished on November 18th way back in 1307.

Now before you go all CYS on him, remember that he was forced to shoot that fruit off his son’s head as a punishment by the Austrian authorities.  A miss meant execution for he and his son.  Tell–the legend of Switzerland–made the shot, became a symbol of resistance to tyranny, and got an overature written about him.  I’m sure William Wallace would’ve appreciated such daring had he not been executed a couple years earlier.  Wallace got his due when Braveheart was made featuring Sophie Marceau who also celebrates a birthday today. 

Keeping with this European theme, the mighty Wiki says that the U.S. recognized the Soviet Union on this date in 1933.  Interesting choice of words that.  It’s as if the two had hung out in the 1920s but hadn’t seen each other in a while.  Fast forward to the same day in 1989 and it was the Soviet Union doing the recognizing, specifically a realization that the communist reign was over as Czechoslovakia launched its famous Velvet Revolution which any 20th century student of mine well knows.

That velvety movement was smoother than Richard Nixon who spent this day in ’73 telling the world “I am not a crook.”  Speaking of horrible movements in the history of government, the Federal Reserve officially opened on November 16, 1914, an innovation that successfully allowed America to go from periodic cycles of economic downturn to periodic cycles of the worst economic meltdowns in history.

At least Milton Friedman wasn’t around to see this latest financial meltdown.  The good economist left us on this date in 2006.  Of all the great things Friedman said in his 94 years, one of the best statements must’ve been, “I don’t really care very much what I’m called [concerning his political persuasion]. I’m much more interested in having people thinking about the ideas, rather than the person.”

And while we’re talking about great ideas, how about buttons on phones?  That little chestnut came our way 47 years ago today.  I find it hard to believe that push-button phones were around in 1963 since we still had a rotary phone in my house until the 21st century.  For you younger folks, rotary phones required a circular crank to dial.  I practically had to stretch before calling someone.  When they made us start dialing area codes I almost tore my rotator cuff.  Calling radio contests was a nightmare.  “Be caller #5 right now!”  Yeah right.  Not even a Mister Miyagi pencil dial could get that big wheel around in time.

Technology isn’t the only thing with ancient roots to this week in history.  Go way back to 42 B.C. and you’ll find the birthday of Roman Emperor Tiberius.  He may have been born B.C. but he died A.D. and in the middle ruled Rome during the crucifixion of the history-breaking Jesus of Nazareth who put that C in B.C.  Tiberius was succeeded by Caligula who was widely regarded as a crazy person. 

Maybe Caligula acted that way because he got into some kind of ancient hallucinogens.  If he did, we know they weren’t of the synthetic variety like LSD which was first synthesized on November 16, 1938 by Dr. Albert Hoffman.  And in case you didn’t know, Hoffman was a Swiss doctor who did his work in Switzerland, a country that might not have existed had William not made that fateful shot and lived to tell a tall Tell tale.

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