Well, it’s my birthday. I’m not going to tell you how old I turn today, but I have been 32 for the past year. Birthdays tend to bring out the philosopher in me (see last year’s Boob Jobs and The End Of The World), but this year I’m thinking about hair in part, center part specifically.
It all started with the recent release of Disney’s Tangled. Facebooker Lin first made the observation that the movie’s character Flynn Ryder looks like me. Then I started hearing the same thing from one person after the next, people who don’t know each other, lots of people. I became intrigued. Could be the mannerisms or brown eyes but mostly I think it’s the hair.
I’m realizing that people don’t really part their hair down the center anymore. I’m also realizing that I never change. One of my students, a fashionista perhaps, told me that I have that 90s hair. I asked her what 90s hair is. She raised her brow and pointed to my head. Oh. I started to question my hairstyle when it occurred to me that I don’t have a hairstyle, I just have hair. It just flops around. I got curious about this feature as I realized I never change. I’m just me, always have been. How long has this been so?
Being a professional historian, I knew right where to go for the answers: Wikipedia. No, I’m kidding. I went to my dear Aunt’s massive archive of family photos. You’ve never seen anything like it. I needed directions to begin. When I asked where I could find photos of my upbringing she pulled out a map and two skeleton keys. Behold, my youth.
My sisters were doomed. How can you compete with this?
I was working by age 8. Bought my own Nintendo. Boo-yeah.
Home haircut, interrogation room style. Notice the shame.
I'm probably thinking about math not the hair.
I knew early on I would need wit and social skills to make it through school alive.
Grandparents at 10th bday. Notice my carefully kempt hair.
Ah, the duck flop, a complex style of Dippity Do gel and a side part.
Despite passing birthdays I don't seem to change, hair included.
You can see how I’ve always been so fashionably sensitive. We had a complex method for picking our outfits out each day based on a formula of grabbing clothes we owned and then wearing them. As for the hair, I eventually settled into a meticulous regimin of not cutting my hair and tucking it behind my ears. Step 1? Grow a mullet.
Yes, my hair is wrapped around the side of my head. Yes, girls envied the shiny waves.
Aha! The cut made by 20th bday.
So there’s 18 and 20 because 19 is just too scary to show on a PG rated site. While looking for some pics I ventured down memory lane a little more than I may have been ready for. Oh, the lost secrets those dusty old boxes contain. I’m amazed at how much I’d forgotten especially considering that I get paid to remember the past for a living. Turns out a couple thousand years of human history is easier to recall than a couple decades of my own. Maybe we’re all like that.
It’s a powerful thing flipping through those old photos and relics. So many laughs but also some pain. From time to time we have to face those things we’ve lost and people we’ve hurt. I guess we’ve lost some people too, and therein lies the greatest heartache. I wish I hadn’t made so many mistakes along this road I’ve walked so far.
None of us knows how much farther we have to walk along the path of life. I hope I get a few dozen more chances to blow out candles with bad hair, but the reality is that this could just be my last. Who knows right? I hope I’m a good part of the lives I touch from here on out and sorry to the people along the way that I blew it with.
Birthdays are like highway rest areas. They make us pause to reflect on where we’ve come from and consider the rest of our journey. As we age we feel like the same person inside but mirrors tell a different story. Maybe that’s why I haven’t changed my appearance. That 90s flop might help keep me young. Mostly, I am just comfortable with who I am. I know I’m loved and am not confused about the purpose of my life.
Nevertheless, perhaps it’s time for a change. Should I reevaluate myself on this day of my birth? If not, I suppose I’m okay with looking like a cartoon for a while.
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As always, I would like to hear your thoughts. Find me on Twitter @ClayMorganPA.
Happy Birthday! Shoulda known you were a fellow Sagittarius
Those pics are hilarious! And yes, if your hair looks like a Disney dude’s, you probably need to do something about it.
As for re-evaluating yourself, be sure to do that after drinking a lot of birthday libations. Bring a pen so when you have that birthday epiphany you can write it on a napkin or coaster and remember it the next day.
Thanks WoPro. I knew I didn’t change much when I joined Facebook last year and everyone that knew me my whole life said I still looked exactly the same.
I remember the sweater from the picture with you getting a haircut! That was 5th grade with Mrs Smith.
The word I would use for your hair is “Timeless”, and I would refer to ‘Rooster Hannigan’ (Tim Curry) from ‘Orphan Annie’. Curry was also in “Legend” which was directed by Ridley Scott, who you recently wrote an article on!
Wow, that’s a quality comment. Your memory is better than mine but now that I think of it yup, Mrs. Smith. The Ridley Scott connection is genius.
Gotta be honest: every time I see your avatar image or a picture of you on your blog, I think, “Look at that jerk flaunting all that hair around.”
I’m jealous. The only place I could potentially part my hair is on the back of my head. Believe me, the center part looks great. Keep rockin’ it.
Happy birthday, Clay.
Haha, thanks Chase. I know I can be such a jerk with my hair! Thanks for the bday wish.
Happy b’day, beloved Clay! Anyone who has anything to say about your hair is just jealous because he is bald. And “fashionista” probably has a li’l crush on you. Everyone knows girls don’t talk to boys if they don’t like them.
Love the striped knee socks. I hear those are back in, too.
I think if I ever need to smile I’ll just read your comment over and over. You’re the best. Thanks for the wonderful bday message. I wonder if I still have those socks…
Have you checked out mullet.com? It’s all business-in-the-front, party-in-the-back. Speaking of party (worst segue ever), Happy Birthday! May your year be filled with great hair days and without stupid questions….
And now, once more in my favoUrite language, Canadian: Happy Birthday, eh?
I Love that Canadian accent. Maybe that’s why I like listening to hockey types talk. But I’ve never gotten a Happy Birthday with it! I’m really glad our paths crossed. I’ll check out the mullet site cause I love that stuff.
Happy birthday Clay!
Mate, on my next birthday I’ll put up some pictures of my cowlick.
Thirty-four years worth of haircuts and absolutely NO hairdresser has defeated it yet.
Hope you had a brilliant day, I hope that ‘fashionista’ wrote “I love you” on her eyelids for you.
I believe this is my first ever birthday wish from Down Under. That’s great! I bet those pics would be funny. I figure I’ll just publish them now and prevent future blackmail. Great Indy Jones reference too
I think the only question you need to ask yourself is: are you happy with where you’re at in life right now? Does your hairstyle make you feel confident? If you answer “yes” to both of these questions, then why change it? If you must alter your “flop,” then do so because YOU want to, not because some 2010′er accused you of 90′s hair.
And really…how much can guys DO with their hair? Shorter…longer….possibly dreadlocks. That’s about it! (And I’m sure your current style would look better WITHOUT the dreads…)
Haha, thanks my friend. The 2010′er was kindly joking and I’m not really having an existential hair crisis but I like what you say about appearing how you want to appear. So many people are just trying to be someone different. But now that you say it, maybe I should go dreads.
I also bought my own Nintendo…I think that makes us superior to practically everyone else in the world.
Happy belated. Don’t change the hair!
Thanks for that! I’ve been checkin out your site. I like the post about kicking Monday’s butt complete with Indiana Jones. Yes, that definitely makes us superior.
Holy crap. You’re actually a little *older* than me. Damn your boyish looks.
Also, my husband totally had the hair you have now when I met him in the 90s. *snort!*
See there? I thought you had misjudged. You really shouldn’t judge you know. Jesus hates that. But yes, I’ve still got the 90s hair floppin. I tried a grown up haircut but it’s not me yet. I’ll rock what I got for a bit longer.
Well I was going to say you have lovely hair, but you just Jesus Juked me, so forget it!
Yes, you’ve been Jesus Juked. I feel so good about myself b/c I’m clearly better than you now.
Why am I just seeing this now?! I snorted,Clay. Laughed so hard that I snorted! Around the red outfit pic! Caption killed me. God love you! What an awesome person to know here on Earth! Thanks.
It’s nice to be appreciated. See what you miss out on?