“Oh…You just won’t listen, that’s all.” Dorothy Gale, The Wizard of Oz
Have you ever asked yourself something like “Why won’t anybody listen to me?” Maybe you feel like no one hears what you’re trying to say. That feeling breeds frustration which can turn into depression as you begin to wonder if anybody even cares. Regardless of who we are, none of us wants to feel invisible.
We live in a noisy world and the volume is constantly increasing. The airwaves were already cluttered before we started swimming in the Twitter Stream and digesting Facebook feeds. We’re drowning in information and bloated. Life is wildly hectic for many who are too busy and can’t stop.
This struggle is highlighted during the Christmas season in today’s culture. The once simple idea of hustle and bustle now makes us cringe as we face the pressures of the holiday. Rest and relaxation are hardly likely with so many places to go and people to please. What happened and can we fix it?
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Remember spinning on the merry-go-round at the playground when you were a kid? All you wanted was to get going fast. Everything was so exciting as you dug in and took off. Then things started going a little too fast and that grip began to slip. You were spinning out of control and just wanted it to stop but there was no way to get off without getting hurt. That’s the point at which the perception of being invisible turns to despair because no one comes to your rescue.
Photo Credit: NASA/Sean Smith
Our lives are like that when we set things in motion–plans for achieving goals and dreams–yet lose control during those critical turning points. You can’t shut down that kind of momentum in an instant or someone’s going to get hurt. The only way to get yourself back under control is by getting a firm grasp and gradually slowing down.
Lord knows I never expected to break down the philosophy of the band Hoobastank, but they have a song that really smacked me in the brain a while back. Part of that song is about being let down by somebody we expected to be there. When those people don’t come through we feel alone and everything starts to spin “out of control.” It’s scary when we do everything we were supposed to do only to get blindsided in the end.
After a letdown like that we feel ignored and alone like Dorothy before she left Kansas. When that happens we just want to pack up our problems and head for Pity City in hopes that someone there will listen.
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We had this saying when I was with Young Life that you have to earn the right to be heard. Nothing is earned without effort. Influence is at the heart of this idea, and you can’t influence anyone without being respected. So how does this all tie together?
Most of us want to be heard, often to help achieve our own goals in some way. We can’t be respected without offering respect to others. As our merry-go-round spins faster and faster it gets easier to focus on ourselves. We stop listening to those who are supposed to be a part of the ride, and the easiest way to lose the right to be heard is to shut others out. It’s critical to be the helping hand when we can because we all eventually take bumpy turns as the hand that is losing its grip.
Someone you care about is feeling invisible right now and may even be spinning out of control as Christmas nears. Do you see them? How can you reach out to them? We tend to see those who are struggling with what we understand. The trials you’ve made it through have built up your influence. Are you using it?
Photo ©Glenda Otero
Maybe you’re the one who feels like everything is falling apart right now. Has life gotten out of control? Are you struggling to hang on, feeling like no one is listening? You are not invisible. Many people are looking for you. Reach out to them because when you let go you hurt a lot more people than just yourself.
I suspect that we’re all somewhere in between, missing some who really need us as we struggle to be heard by others. An old friend of mine once said that the walking wounded find each other. I think that’s all of us, and amazing things can happen when we turn to those who need us rather than always chasing someone else. There’s no better time to make your move than right now.
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Yup. ‘Tis the season. A very beautiful blog, Fryber Clay. And I’ll try to crank something out for next week. But right now, I’m DONE, and I’m celebrating!
Please know that even though we are cyberspace buds, I think the world of you. I wish I could take one of your classes. (You know, to heckle you, of course.)
You’re done! Yay! I am in break during my last lecture (on a Friday night
) But I’m done tomorrow too. I’m sure we could entertain a classroom too.
Wise words from someone so young, Clay…thought-provoking and well-written post! Echoing what Renée said, I think you’re pretty cool too!
Wendy
P.S. Am reposting this on my Facebook…hope that’s okay!
Thanks a million Wendy! I am honored.
I came back to your blog expecting to whine about It’s a Wonderful Life not making it out of round one…and I got this. Lovely and timely, my friend. I was this woman last April, when pneumonia sent my barely-in-control house of cards tumbling. I pulled back on tweeting, blogging, housework, etc. and was buoyed up by many.
Now, I’m so thankful to be well enough to help others (and to write humour – which is hard to do if you’re totally falling apart – at least hard for me).
Thanks for a beautiful post!
I’m with you in lamenting the unbelievable loss of George Bailey, but alas the peeps have spoken.
I know exactly what you mean about the timing. I was the out of control person last year, barely writing and hiding away from society. I’m grateful to have made it through and have laughed more this year than in a long time. You definitely have the gift too, and the struggles can eventually be used to pick people up, especially with the “humour” you speak of. You’re such an Anglophile
Stop melting my Grinchy heart, Clay, I’m trying to look cool here. Alas, depression definitely peaks during the holidays, and it’s true that someone reaching out (even if it’s just a nice cashier at the Quickie Mart) can make the difference between holding it together and running back to bed that day.
PS I knew you were trying to fix it for IAWL. But you of all people should appreciate the perils of democracy
Oh WoPro I don’t believe that beneath that Grinchy exterior you also have a Grinchy heart too
Yes, I was aware of the risks of a Greek-style direct democracy heading into this crazy bracket. I exercised tremendous self-restraint by not clicking and putting one of my favorite all-time movies over the top! No autocrat am I.
I find that when I’m my most stressed out, it’s usually because I’m focusing all on my own problems. It’s only when I turn to other’s needs and wants that my own problems seem to subside, and I find a sense of peace. I’ve been finding that a lot with the aim of my blog, too. When I’ve had my bawl-your-eyes-out type of days, I make myself do for someone else, and suddenly, the clouds lift for a bit..if even only for a bit.
Great post…I’ve seen entertaining/educational/movie-referencing/Wikipedia-ing posts from you, and it’s so nice to see a truly poignant one. Kudos, bud.
Thanks AB. Yeah, I can throw down the poignancy if need be. You know what you’re talking about too since you are Ms. RAC