When I was in my early 20s I got sucked into the fun world of betting football games online. Yes, I was stupid but then again scientific studies* show that most guys are at their worst between the ages of 21-23.
Let’s just say what started off well sure didn’t end that way. But hey, it was the 2000s and we were young, crazy kids. That’s what free credit cards were for.
Next time Gadget...
*throws self into steel radiator*
One particular Sunday afternoon, I was in my room watching the hapless San Diego Chargers play the solid Baltimoron Ravens (who would go onto win the Super Bowl) before dinner. My relatively safe wager was somehow reliant on the Ravens holding a big lead at halftime.
I was in great shape when the call for dinner came, but as I walked down to eat the stupid Ravens fumbled. The Chargers recovered and were suddenly in field goal range as I picked up my fork. Unbelievable, their kicker John Carney kicked a long field goal as the first half expired. I lost my bet. And my money. It was the only points the pathetic Chargers scored all day. I wasn’t very hungry after that.
I eventually learned my lesson. It helped that God was also having a lot of fun with me. No matter how many thing I got right, I always lost when I put money on a game. In unfathomable ways, I lost. Then I met a guy who was over $30,000 in debt. He set me straight. My gambling days ended.
Until last week.
Brilliant me decided to make a friendly wager with Thoughtsy over the Ravens-Steelers game. Yeah, the same Ravens who burned me a decade ago. I figured my old curse wasn’t in play since I don’t bet money anymore. But alas, the Steelers weren’t able to do what they normally do, namely, pound the Ravens into submission and break their little black hearts.
So now I have to watch a chick flick of Thoughtsy’s choosing. She’s having fun with it too by allowing readers to vote on my punishment. There’s even a poll to make the experience more pleasurable. Head over and join the fun if you like.
This loss also means I won’t be getting those sweet treats I anticipated. My mouth was already watering with dreams of Skittles and chocolate chip cookies. *Sniff*
But my torture isn’t over yet. I also have to point out the winner of our reader prediction contest. And wouldn’t you know it, the person who picked closest to the actual score was Leanne Shirtliffe, the woman I proudly took in a Calgary-Pittsburgh challenge a few weeks back.
So you should definitely subscribe to IronicMom.com and absolutely must follow her on Twitter.
But don’t worry about little, ol’ me in Pittsburgh. We’ll lick our wounds and prepare for the annual playoff beat down of Baltimore. I sure won’t be betting on the game though. One sappy chick flick is enough for this guy.
Have you ever lost a bet?
*Actually, it’s just my personal opinion. Some men reach optimal jerkhood later in life, precisely somewhere between the ages of 24-60.
I voted STEEL MAGNOLIAS. It not only was tolerable, but involved red velvet cake & a great line by Tom Skerritt
That’s a dagger Garr!
See, and I was trying to help you out… maybe I should just start voting for Twilight – since Pride & Prejudice was also a good movie.
Tom Skerritt is awesome in that movie.
Lol. Actually, I haven’t. I’m not a gambler. I’m a poker player.
Sorry you won’t be getting those chocolate covered macadamia nuts. Better luck next time. Love your blog, Clay.
Ooh, love me some poker too. Haven’t played for a long time but always won more than lost.
The only movie I’ve seen on that list is PRIDE & PREJUDICE. And I’m going to shock you here: I didn’t vote for it. You are not to make fun of Mr. Darcy. You know, just because.
So I voted for Twilight. Bwahaha.
By the way, if you need help on your Superbowl prediction, I know the ins and outs of football.
Yeah, I bet you do.
Mr. Darcy is awesome. Especially the Colin Firth Mr. Darcy.
Hilarious! Okay Jill, I was already thinking of how much fun you and Leanne might have together and then you make this comment. Leanne is known for her, ahem, unstable feelings toward Mr. Firth. Great stuff.
Jill is a woman of impeccable taste. I will share my Colin Firth obsession with her, for five minutes at least.
Being raised in N.Y. outside the Bronx back in the day before you could bet by computer, we use to use a payphone. yes one of those things you might see in old movie that Superman would change in. I was Arty for 86 when I would call, would learn quickly what a “10″ bet was and an “if and reverse”. My Bookie’s name was Vinny Dinacola, he is since long decased so I find it safe to use his name.. Beginers luck I was wnning bets like crazy and also going to Yonkers Raceway where my boss’s father worked the $50.00 window. Always knew to ask him for a tip then you knew that was at least one horse that didn’t finish.. Yep! was 20 years old make good money on betting, then the crash came bigger then the crash of the 1920′s, couldn’t win to save my life, it was so bad one race my horse came in first but didn’t count because the jockey fell off. Betting on football, basketball, baseball etc. got myself 6,000.00 dollars in the hole by the time I was 21.. My bookie wanted paid and I wanted to keep my legs so my boss co-signed a loan for me and threatened to break my legs himself if I betted again with a bookie…So from that day forward I never bet with a bookie again but I did take a trip to Vegas a few years back and won $2200.00 dollars…
Yep! those were the days…..
Arty, you always have great stories! I’m thinking we could do a movie. Life of the Tinman.
Ha, I thought the asterisk was going to be some comment about how you’re not a science guy.
I never got into betting, and it’s a good thing too because I hate losing. I’m sure I’d play until I won and get addicted to that elusive winning feeling …and that would probably result in a lot of losing.
Betting is made to suck in people who like control. But we can’t control it at all! You’d just bet on Tim Tebow every time.
Leanne, how many racquetballs will fit into a plastic case in the back of a Prius trunk? I only ask because they had a contest at the gym….
You should know better than to bet for a team unless the Penguins are involved.
I’m glad you saw the light before you got in too deep.
Off to vote at Thoughts.
Be gentle Kelly. There’s a couple movies on that list I really don’t want to think about.
42, Kel, 42.
Twilight is winning the vote, but I really think you should have to tell all your guy friends you’re a huge fan of Edward as well. Did you see the David Letterman where Keifer Sutherland came out in a dress because of a bet? That may be where you are heading…
I voted that you should watch Twilight. Because you ARE a pop-culture professor after all.
Is that the first one? I saw the one with vampires playing baseball. Sort of. Except for the part where I decided to scour pots and pans instead. Been a few years. I haven’t seen the second one. Isn’t a third on its way?
I think you mean the 4th movie. You have so much to learn!
You’re still beating me in that football pool thingy we’re doing.
Which isn’t nice of you, seeing as how we’re on the same team and all.
I’m sorry, I wish you did better.
This is really funny Clay! I had a friend in high school who got into betting and lost his college fund the summer before freshman year. I think his parents paid off his bets since the mob was involved. It was back in the late 70′s and gambling was illegal. He worked at the carnivals (can you imagine?) and traveled from Wisconsin to Rhode Island. He enrolled at the UW when I was a senior and was a really smart guy so I am sure he is doing well.
Make sure not to laugh too hard while watching Twilight. You could pull a muscle!
That’s wild! Another cautionary tale.
I was shocked when I saw you picked Baltimore in our league. SHOCKED, I SAY.
Which sucked because then I would have won this week. (At least scored more points than you. That’s my new definition of winning.)
YOU WILL FEEL MY PAIN. Off to Thoughts to vote.
I figured the Steelers would win by a narrow margin as always. You will beat me one of these times
Best asterisk ever. I confess I voted for the movie most likely to cause you pain. I’m a giver like that.
Ouch. You give until it hurts eh?
I want you to really learn the lesson that betting is not in your best interest based on your track record. Think of it as a sanctification, except I don’t have a savior complex.
It’s okay – you’re not the only person to get sucked in to the world of betting on football/hockey games. I did the same thing in high school…not for money, for the sheer thrill of humiliating the other people.
All I will say is that I lost. Often.
Also, I think that the girliest, longest, and most painful chick flick you could ever watch is Pride and Prejudice, so I want to vote for that one…
Why do you delight in tormenting me so?
Mate, I voted as best I could for you! Shame about the loss though, you deserved the win for that Princess Bride quote!
Haha, thanks Christian!
Did you ever play fantasy football, Clay? My friend’s husband is always betting on his “team.”
Every year! I won a couple hundred bucks last year too. In line for another sweet January this year
I haven’t jumped over to Leanne’s site yet, so maybe this isn’t an option, but I think Sleepless in Seattle would provide suitable chick-flick torment, lol.
Oops, Thoughts Appear, not Leanne, sorry. I’m just used to Leanne making the bets with you, although I see she has a hand in twisting the knife a bit.
Ha, maybe I should stick to taking advantage of Canadians.
Personally, I think you’ve become unstuck. :–P
I’m a fan of said hapless Chargers, and yes, I’ve lost many a bet on the Bolts from the Blue. You’re lucky that you at least have a team with five rings to cheer for instead of, um, fish tacos and year-round surfing?
Anyhoo, I think you should have to watch “The Help” on the big screen…is it still playing?
I know I’m crazy late, but I’m glad Leanne won. I’m sorry you lost. And I’m going to vote, if it isn’t too late.
Poll closes today. Be gentle.
I’ve never lost a serious bet, but certain outfits I wore in the 90′s might suggest otherwise…