For the past couple weeks I’ve heard from a number of ladies how much they can’t stand the arrival of Valentine’s Day. I’ve never heard this sentiment from so many women, but as a man I understand. We may have different reasons for resenting the big V-Day, but in the end a holiday like this can be more trouble than some people know.
But singles aren’t the only ones who might want to skip Hallmark’s day of love. It can be tough for people in relationships to live up to the hype, especially if you happen to know that guy as guest blogger Kevin Haggerty from The Isle of Man explains in this funny guest post. You can also find him on Twitter. Break it down Kevin.
It’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow.
If you’re a girl, this is probably exciting news to you; especially if you are dating or married. It’s like a second birthday. For one day, night or maybe even a full weekend, you will be the center of attention.
Why? Because you’re a female. That’s it. No other reason. It might as well be called “Girlfriend and Wife Day,” cuz that’s what it is.
Think about it, when was the last time you heard a dude say something like: “Yeah, my wife is in the doghouse. She totally forgot to get me something for Valentine’s Day. She’s sleeping on the couch tonight!”
Which brings me to my point. Every year, pressure is placed on males to make this a special day. Kay Jeweler’s reminds us (in non-stop commercial fashion) that every kiss begins with them, which is interesting, because I’ve never had one kiss that did begin with them. In fact, they’ve never been any part of any of my kisses.
We’re told we had better buy chocolates and flowers. We had better make dinner reservations and plan something unique.
We do our best, but, truth be told, it’s usually mediocre at best. We’re guys. We’re several steps above “Neanderthal.” Women are more evolved. I have no problem admitting that.
The problem for us “normal guys” is that there’s always some guy that we know who is trying to earn extra brownie points by being “boyfriend or husband of the year.”
We all know one. You took your wife to Red Lobster and a movie that you knew she’d like. It was thoughtful. So unlike you.
Not him. He wakes up doing thoughtful things. By the time his wife rolls out of bed, he’s got her coffee ready, along with a three-course, piping hot breakfast that is just waiting to help her usher in the day.
If that’s his game, a normal Valentine’s Day just won’t do. No, he’s got to go the extra mile.
While you’re opening the car door for your wife, so that you can escort her to Red Lobster, he’s holding his wife’s hand and helping her get into the hot air balloon which will take them to a Bed & Breakfast in Martha’s Vineyard.
Once they arrive, they will be greeted by a horse-drawn carriage that will take them along a candlelit path that is adorned by rose petals.
When they enter the B&B, her favorite song of all time will be playing. Not on the radio or a CD. No way. That’s second class. The Boston Pops have assembled to play the song in all its orchestral glory.
You bought your wife a teddy bear and a book that you knew she wanted. Again, this isn’t like you. You took a break from being a dude for a day and really went all out. You’re feeling great. Why shouldn’t you?
Until you find out what “Husband of the Year” picked out for his adored wife.
He bought her the new iPad that hasn’t even come out yet, as well as an all-inclusive spa package.
How? They couldn’t really afford it, but he made it work…somehow.
I’m gonna wrap it up by saying this: Don’t be that guy. Everybody hates that guy. Even your wife secretly hates that guy. Love her. Make her feel special. But you don’t have to raise the ceiling every year. It becomes impossible to top and, more importantly, it makes your friends and male family members look bad.
We appreciate your effort. It’s awesome that you love your wife. But calm down. For all of us.
Normal males across America.
So how do you feel about Valentine’s Day?
Ever seen a big gift backfire?