On Wikipedia Wednesday I take the Wiki’s word for it about what happened on this date in history (give or take a day) and vamp up the rest to connect the events.  It’s okay.  I’m a trained historian.

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I wonder if Jack the Ripper was in a fraternity.  We’ll never know because he was never caught, even after taking the life of his last victim Mary Kelly–a.k.a. Black Mary–on November 9, 1888.  Black Mary shouldn’t be confused with Typhoid Mary who died on November 11, 1938 after a rough career as a cook who infected people with a potentially fatal disease.

I mention college fraternities because the first American one began at William & Mary (no relation to Typhoid or Black Mary) way back in November 1750.  The F.H.C. Society came complete with a secret handshake and famous alum like President Thomas Jefferson.  Originally a latin phrase, FHC came to stand for the Flat Hat Club.  The organization enjoyed a rebirth in 1916 while America prepared to enter World War I.

Speaking of The Great War, November 11th is Armistice Day, the anniversary of the official end of the war in 1918.  Three years later, President Warren Harding dedicated the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier at Arlington National Cemetery.  Armistice Day is ironically called Remembrance day, ironic because few people remember it anymore.

Most people may have also forgotten (or never known) that yesterday was World Freedom Day, a day to commemorate the fall of The Berlin Wall in 1989, the official end to communism’s brutal 20th century reign as millions celebrated the defeat of some pretty evil business.  President Obama created controversy last year by refusing to attend the 20th anniversary celebration. 

Obama is traveling this week, however, to Asia.  Most folks don’t blink over our top executive traveling abroad, but Teddy Roosevelt made headlines in 1906 when he became the first sitting president to leave the country.  He visited Panama to check up on construction of his famous canal which begins in the Atlantic Ocean, the same body of water reached by Civil War General Sherman’s famous March to the Sea.  The most famous event of that march was the burning of Atlanta which happened on November 11, 1864.  Another great blaze broke out a few years later during the Great Boston Fire of November 9, 1872.

From the 1870s to the 1970s looks like Leo DiCaprio has a birthday tomorrow.  Born in 1974, you know Leo watched some Sesame Street which first aired on this date in 1969.  Little Leo would grow up to appear on multiple covers of Rolling Stone, first published on November 9, 1967.

Rolling Stone has covered some major shakers during its run, perhaps none as big as Nirvana who led the alternative charge of the Grunge scene in 1991.  The magazine featured the band on its cover in 1992 with frontman Kurt Cobain famously wearing a “Corporate Magazines Still Suck” t-shirt.  The Gen X trio wound up on the cover once again in 1993, this time sporting pinstripe suits against the banner headline “Success Doesn’t Suck.”  Unfortunately for Cobain, success wasn’t fulfilling and he made a third appearance on the mag’s cover again in 1994, this time in memoriam after his death.

On that first Nirvana cover of Rolling Stone, the magazine declared Seattle as “The New Liverpool.”  And to think there would never have been a Seattle had the state of Washington not been founded on November 11th, 1889, around the exact same time Jack the Ripper was slinking back into the shadows of history.  Well, there you go but this is all getting a little too depressing for me, so I’m gonna go read up on Cookie Monster.  You know that guy was in a fraternity. 

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Who says history is boring?  Follow me on Twitter @eduClaytion.

On Wikipedia Wednesday I take the Wiki’s word for it about what happened on this date in history (give or take a day) and vamp up the rest to connect the events. It’s okay. I’m a trained historian. People expect us to make stuff up.

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Let me take you back to November 4, 2008.  Barack Obama routed a weak challenger in a historic presidential victory.  Students rocked, Democrats rolled, and Juan Williams cried.  (He cried because a black man won not because he was afraid of muslims).  That’s as good a place to start as any on this Wikipedia Wednesday, one day after a historic election beatdown here in the states.  I imagine Republicans are today feeling like Democrats have after the past couple elections.

As a matter of fact, I bet President Obama is feeling a bit like Jimmy Carter did in 1979.  Carter had been elected in 1976 in a big way.  Students partied that night too, and pundits talked of a historic change.  By ’79, Carter became practically unelectable thanks to disastrous policies but also after 55 Americans were taken hostage in Iran on November 4.

I’m not sure how the future will work out for Obama but Carter lost to Ronald Reagan who, according to the Wiki, spent November 2, 1983 signing Martin Luther King Jr. Day into law.

Seventy years earlier, in 1913, the government smacked us with one of its nastiest moves ever when the income tax, that blasted creation, was introduced on this date.  To learn more about how I feel about taxes you should read my comparison between the IRS and tooth decay.

Speaking of painful experiences, World War I ground to a halt in 1918 as Germany’s pals in Austria-Hungary spent these couple days surrendering to everybody.  But happier days were on their way after November 4, 1918 because that’s when Art Carney was born. 

If you don’t know who that is just find yourself some reruns of The Honeymooners and one Mr. Ed Norton.  Carney was genius and you see his legacy everytime you watch the Flintstones Barney Rubble or Jim Carrey do a crazy leg dance or every whacky neighbor in sitcom history like Kramer from Seinfeld.

Carney kept Americans laughing during those scary days of the Cold War when the spooky Russians frightened everybody by launching their satellite Sputnik 2 into space in 1957.  On board was the first animal to enter orbit, a dog named Laika.  Yes, the first creature in space from planet Earth was a communist.  I’m sure Laika loved having all his hero doggy bones distributed to all his commie canine comrades.  America got the last laugh, however, when they successfully put Muppets in space some years later. 

It’s a little known fact (because it’s false) that Laika is actually the Russian word for “sweep the leg.”  What a coincidence because Ralph Macchio was born on November 4, 1961.

Yes, the Karate Kid will turn 50 and join AARP next year where he can wax on and wax nostalgic about how he was apparently already old when he played a high school kid.  He once took on social awkwardness and an evil sensai; now he must face arthritis and overactive bladder.  I’m sure Miyagi would’ve been able to help with that.

By the way, know who else turns 50 next year?  That’s right, President Obama.  His honeymoon with the American people seems to have come to an end and instead of a fun wacky neighbor he’s stuck with Joe Biden.  And while he doesn’t have to worry about communist animals in space, he should reconsider jacking up those taxes that have been so unpopular since 1913 or not even Mr. Miyagi will be able to save him in 2012.

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Make your own witty connections below. Follow me on Twitter @eduClaytion.

I am a dork.  I actually get giddy over historical occurences and anniversaries and can even make meaningful connections out of seemingly random events.  This is why they pay me the less than mediocre bucks.  Allow me to demonstrate.

As a historian and Wikipedia junkie, I know things.  For example, I know that Philadelphia, Pennsylvania was founded on this date in 1682.  I suppose the civil thing here would be to celebrate the patriotic heritage of the town that was a cradle of revolution, the very city where our independence was born.

Flyers Team Motto: Maybe Next Year

But as a lifelong Pittsburgher and Penguins hockey fan, I’m more inclined to compare the land of Flyers to a porcelain toilet of which, I should add, the first one was built on October 28, 1885.  You say I am crass?  Well, I would much rather have a porcelain toilet than Philadelphia.

Speaking of smelly things (I’m referring to the Delaware River), the New York Harbor is kind of a big deal on October 28.  That’s the birthday of one Miss Statue of Liberty.  She was first dedicated by Grover Cleveland (yes, he was a president) in 1886.  Lady Liberty does show her age these days but looks pretty good considering she’ll be 125 years old next autumn.

The end of October has historically been a busy time in U.S. history.  One of the biggest events took place in 1919 when President Woodrow Wilson signed the Volstead Act into law.  That signature led to the Prohibition of alcohol for a decade and a half.  Seven years the later on the same day (October 28), the stock market crashed and sent America into the worst economic disaster in history. 

Even worse, the whole world tanked and we got fascism with characters like Hitler and Mussolini.  Moreover, in what has to be the best example of the law of unintended consequences, restrictions on liquor led to the rise of organized crime headed up by sweethearts such as Al Capone.  Wonderful how things work out when the government butts in.

"Bathtub Gin" wasn't the safest

Of course, there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth over the laws against drinking so people quickly scored exceptions.  Doctors were allowed to use whiskey to treat patients, people were allowed to make a certain amount of booze from home, and catholics were allowed to slug vino for communion.  I wonder if they added beer nuts to make the transubstantiation complete. 

As you can imagine with so many people drinking homemade concotions, plenty of folks got sick around this great nation.  Good thing they had porcelain toilets.  Or the Delaware River.  Now you know.

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Did you know history was so informative?  Will you now discourage loved ones from a liberal arts degree?  Follow me on Twitter @eduClaytion.