Mario Lemieux Day
For many sports fans, today is all about Brett Favre, but October 5 belongs to the big guy, Mario Lemieux. Today number 66 turns 44.
Crazy how many famous types share this birthday. A bunch of athletes join actors like Kate Winslet and Guy Pearce. The 2nd best goalie of all-time Patrick Roy even shares the exact same birthday, but Mario was and is more than all those other characters combined.
In case you’re not clear on this, I’m coming from the perspective that Mario Lemieux is the greatest athlete who ever lived. Unless Jesus was on a wrestling squad I’m unfamiliar with.
When it comes to Le Magnifique, words are unnecessary. All you need is video. So do yourselves a freakin’ service and watch the greatest of all-time be amazing.
(Btw, See if you recognize the guy dishing Mario the puck in Great Goal #2.)
Bring Me The Brandy Lord Stanley!
WooooHoooo! Not much else to say as the Pittsburgh Penguins have beat history and defeated the Detroit Red Wings to win their third Stanley Cup in franchise history. 
No road team in any sport had won a road game seven to clinch a championship since 1979 when the Pittsburgh Pirates won the World Series. In the 87th game of the NHL playoffs, the Penguins took exit 71 to Detroit to dethrone the champs.
From the kids of promise to the veterans of hope, the Pens did what it took to achieve hockey immortality. Tomorrow is here; the promise is fulfilled. The Steel City skaters have matched the cross town Pittsburgh Steelers to snatch a second championship for the Burgh this year. Pittsburgh is once again the City of Champions.
Where do I start?
Max Talbot scored twice, only the 9th player ever to net two goals in a game 7. Marc-Andre Fleury disproved the doubters time and again with huge saves including one with only a second left on Niklas Lidstrom. Sidney Crosby suffered a nasty injury but kept his team motivated to hold onto the slimmest of margins, a one goal difference that came down to inches yet will span a lifetime as the Boys of Winter will see their names engraved for all time on the Stanley Cup, the ultimate symbol of childhood expectations where dreams are reflected in the shiny gloss of the ages. Read more »
They Touched The Prince’s Hardware
Quite a historical day, eh? No, I’m not talking about Obama nominating a Latin lady, I’m referring to the Pittsburgh Penguins defying the odds and returning to the Stanley Cu
p finals for a second consecutive year. Let’s hear it Steel City hoopleheads.
By sweeping the Carolina Hurricanes in four straight games, the Pens emerge as Eastern Conference champions. That and a bunch of bruises gets them the Prince of Wales trophy, a shiny piece of hardware that the team refused to touch last year. Why would they do that? Well, last year they figured the goal was a bigger trophy known as the Stanley Cup. After losing in six games to the Detroit Red Wings in the finals last spring, they ended up failing to get their mitts on any shiny metal. So this year they decided to get close to the Prince of Wales trophy. They grabbed it, posed with it, held it, caressed it. Yes, it was like a soap commercial.
Versus reporter Christine Simpson asked Penguins captain and all around greatest Canadian going Sidney Crosby why the change of heart. Sir Sidney simply said, “Last year we didn’t touch it and things didn’t work out the way we wanted.” Ah, the wonderful world of hockey were pros are more superstitious than Black Death survivors. Read more »
Please Enjoy This Greatness While You Wait
So I’ve survived some of the worst weather in Florida history. Read all about it tomorrow and get ready for the wild world of Scientologists Gone Wild at Clearwater Beach.
In the meantime, here’s a little sampling of what’s been on my mind. As Will Ferrell playing Alex Trebeck would say: “Simply stunning.”
One For The Ages
I’m a happily married, heterosexual guy, but I fear that my heart may soon be broken by another man. It wouldn’t be the first time.
A couple hours before midnight last evening, the Washington Capitals managed to edge out the Pittsburgh Peng
uins in game 6 of what has been one of the greatest playoff series in sports history. Over twenty years from now, when Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, and Alexander Ovechkin are in the Hall of Fame, fans and scribes will recall the 2nd round Stanley Cup playoff series of 2009.
I’ll let Hooks Orpik over at Pensburgh fill you in on what’s happened so far. I’ve got too much on my mind, childhood trauma threatening to bring back that same recurring nightmare. This nightmare is as real as a bird eating tarantula in Australia. Fragmented visions replay over in my mind. The face of the villain changes from one heartbreak to the next, and I fear this time the new face of devastation will be grinning and scruffy and Russian.
Alexander Ovechkin, the most skilled goon in hockey history, has the most wicked wrist shot you’ve ever seen. No matter how well the Pens shut him down, he’s always there, lurking, waiting to Capitalize on that one chance.
He’s only the most recent villain in my string of menacing faces. Every sports fan remembers those moments that your team didn’t win, the good guys didn’t pull it off. Here are just four men who have broken my heart and made me wish I just didn’t care. Read more »
Bill Guerin For President Of Awesomeness
Since Billy Guerin arrived in Pittsburgh last month, he has filled a need on Sidney Crosby’s wing, earned the respect of his teammates, and provided the leadership of a veteran who knows what it takes to win a Stanley Cup. After last night, you can 
add a vital element to that list. He also scores huge goals including overtime winners in the playoffs.
Guerin’s been on the wrong side of the Penguins since he entered the league way back in 1991-92 with the New Jersey Devils. He’s a career +60 despite playing on some bad teams. His 400+ career goals include 73 game winners.
Like a wily wide receiver in football, the veteran winger knows how to sneak into soft spots on the ice. From those areas he unleashes wicked snap shots, great finishers for Crosby’s nightly dose of precision passes.
Guerin is also earning a growing leadership role on the team. He has consistently stood up for new teammates, even dropping the gloves against overaggressive opponents if necessary. In the first week of April, he took on New Jersey’s David Clarkson just a few days before going toe to toe with Tampa Bay giant Evgeni Artyukhin, the thickest 6’5 skater in hockey and one of the league’s leader in hits. That’s how Guerin leads, by doing whatever is necessary at any point in time.
Last night, goals were needed badly as the Flyers continually withstood a healthy barrage of offense and shots. Guerin put the Penguins on the board in the second period, but during overtime he sealed the victory with his first ever playoff winner. Read more »
The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
It’s playoff time! No, I’m not talking about the NBA which is a complete waste of everything useful. (If you’re not sure how I feel here you go.)
We’re talking the NHL playoffs, a season within a season, the greatest championship tournament in any sport anywhere in the world. You’re certainly entitled to disagree, but that makes you a terrible person.
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Around here it’s all about the Pittsburgh Penguins and Captain Crosby. There’s also that Malkin guy too, frontrunner for the MVP. The Pens are already up on the Philadelphia Flyers, hockey’s biggest band of pig-headed goons from the city of brotherly thugs.
The Flyers led the league in penalties this year because that’s what they know. You could rip a kid from seminary, throw him on the Flyers team, and he would be slashing at defenseless wrists in the first period. That’s what they do.
So it was no surprise that after completely throttling Philly Wednesday, the goons spent the last few minutes trying to hurt dominant players. The penalty box filled with orange jerseys before Daniel Carcillo slammed a fist and butt end of his st
ick into Max Talbot’s face with 7 seconds to go. Classy move. He’s not even as big a creep as cheapshot artist Scott Hartnell (pictured).
But it starts with the organization and head coach, John Stevens, who was fined $10,000 for encouraging his scumbag skaters. Carcillo is suspended for tonight’s game. Read more »
Tampa Bay’s Greatest Athlete
Tampa Bay Lightning Captain Vincent Lecavalier (Le cav all yay) underwent season ending ending wrist surgery and will not play in the upcoming world hockey championships. The Canadian star will be ready to go for next season. Whether you’ve never heard of him or are his biggest fan, here’s a little reminder of why he’s so brilliant. He’s wicked tough too and even once fought 6’9″ Zdeno Chara.
Wait until you see #7 in slow motion.
In case you still want more…
Hockey Good; ESPN Stupid
The city of Vancouver continues preparation for the 2010 Winter Olympics. The games will be spectacular, and hockey will again feature professional athletes.
Not that ESPN will care.
The worldwide leader in sports divorced hockey years ago. When football is out of season, you’re stuck with basketball–great to play, useless to watch.
Oh sure, such statements are heresy during the March run to the Final Four, but that’s college. In a few days, the student-athletes will be traded in for NBA players. If Kobe Bryant and stars played a game in my backyard, I would close the curtains. Yet that’s all the “worldwide leader in sports” wants to talk about. Read more »
Man Undresses Man In Igloo, Thousands Cheer
A Russian guy undressed a Czech guy last night and I screamed celebration. Wait, that didn’t come out right.
It sounded better last night when announcer Paul Steigerwald described how Evgeni Malkin of the Pittsburgh Penguins took the final shot of the game last evening while Thomas Vokoun of the Florida Panthers laid sprawled out on the ice of Mellon Arena. Penguins win 4-3.
That’s two Pens games in a row concluding with a brilliant move against a confused goaltender. Sidney Crosby made Washington netminder Jose Theodore look silly on Sunday.
So the streak continues, and the Boys of Winter have won 9 of their last 10 as Florida, New York, and Buffalo fade. The Canadiens were also struggling but managed a tough OT win last night under replacement coach Bob Gainey. Guy Carbonneau was fired on March 10.
The red hot Penguins now sit four points out of 4th place in the Eastern Conference yet only two points from falling into 10th. They’ll be fine as long as they keep moving at the same throttle level Tyler Kennedy has recently discovered.
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Welcome To Here
In The Matrix, Morpheus tells Neo he can take the blue pill and go on believing whatever he wants to believe. Or he can take the red pill to stay in Wonderland and find out how deep the rabbit hole goes.
This is a red pill type site with a weekly column (and some extras in between) that provides information in an entertaining way. It’s about clear thinking and good writing. It’s about truth.
I’m a writer/speaker who teaches history and political science at a local college by day. Where is local, you say? Well, that would be Wonderland of course.
From pop culture to pop politics, this is my column.
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