I never planned this type of running log. It just sort of happened. I managed to get real work done with one eye on the tube. Here are some of the thoughts that spilled out of my brain and onto the screen.
8:06—The Red Carpet is as close a rendering of Dante’s Fourth Circle of hell as you’ll ever find.
8:07—Oh yeah, that’s why I never watch this stuff. How could I forget.
8:??–Beware Christian Bale. Stay out of his lighting and steer clear of his beard. He hides death in there.
8:13—Just when you think Nicole Kidman can’t become any more unlikeable she looks at husband Keith Urban when asked if she gets excited about Oscars anymore and actually says, “I’ve never been nominated since I’ve been married to Keith so…” He must feel great.
8:25—Halle Berry calls herself “slave to fashion,” looks like she has to pee.
8:33—Opening montage. Hilarious!
8:41—I don’t suppose Devil will get any awards, but it was one of my faves last year.
8:59—Supporting actress winner from The Fighter is super annoying and classless. I can hear I’m Gonna Knock You Out playing in my brain. She better never win anything again.
9:00—Just realized that The A-Team got zero Oscar buzz or nominations. Ridiculous.
9:14—Aaron Sorkin wins best adapted screenplay for Social Network. You know that’s right.
??–Apparently Matt McConaughey didn’t get the memo to not tan/bronze. Pasty white is in this year, and I am trendy.
9:53—Oops, forgot I was keeping a running log. My ADD doesn’t play well here.
10:00—How ironic that Cate Blanchett announces award for Costume Design while wearing a Happy Meal box.
10:12—Know what would’ve made this show more interesting? An Inception style stage.
10:16—This short film guy’s really funny! “I should’ve got a haircut,” he says.
10:18—Auto tune the movies is funny too.
10:22—Well, we made it this far without an overt political statement, but it still wasn’t that big of a deal. Enjoying the lack of political grandstanding.
10:45—This just in: Gwyneth Paltrow doesn’t sing nearly as good as anyone else at the Oscars. Including Chuck (Zachary Levi from Tangled).
10:53—The In Memoriam part is always one of my faves. Bittersweet. But that will be enough Celine Dion for this decade.
10:57—I don’t know what this means, but I’m pretty sure I would look alright if I had Halle Berry’s hairstyle.
11:16—I was right about Natalie Portman winning, but it would be funny if the award went to someone like Angelina Jolie for Salt.
11:19—Ok, Portman is still talking. Blah, blah, blah, go away.
11:20–Congratulations to Nicole Kidman who has made it through the entire evening without taking her clothes off.
11:26—Okay Colin Firth. Great line: “I have a feeling my career has just peaked.” The world loves you for now though.
11:32—Anne Hathaway has more outfits than Rupaul.
11:43—It’s over. King’s Speech wins something else. This concludes the most consecutive, non-sports TV I will watch for the next year.
If it’s any consolation Inception, Social Network, & the rest, the Pittsburgh Steelers know exactly how you feel.
It would’ve been nice to hear maybe one overblown Hollywood type thank a fan or regular person. Remember us? We’re the ones who spend money we don’t have to see you perform lines you could never write.
The show was pretty tame, so no classic comedy moments, but I’m happy because we also didn’t have to deal with…
Annoying political rants. I really despise that stuff, the normal Academy fare. The absence of said soapboxing just happens to coincide with the absence of Sean Penn, Tim Robbins, Leo, and Matt Damon, great actors all but bothersome as social commentators. Yes, there are some who know what they’re talking about.
Gotta give my mom credit for recalling this classic moment from 1973 when Raquel Welch and Gene Hackman were announcing the winner for Best Actress. Here’s the short clip on YouTube. You can skip ahead to around the 45 second mark to hear what Welch thought of political rants.
Here’s the background on Welch’s “I hope they haven’t got a cause” comment. Maybe she had a point.
Maybe I’m way off.
What do you think? Do you even watch?
What memorable moments do you recall from last night or previous years?
We can connect on Twitter (@ClayMorganPA) where you can also read the rest of my comments from last night.